I eat when I’m hungry, I drink when I’m dry

Can’t stop singing this line from Rye Whiskey and imagining Dave singing it in his husky voice. Think I may be having withdrawals. That and my mind is in a million places and Dave tends to relax it. I honestly know why this line is in my head, it’s because I’m starving today even though I’ve had a normal amount of carbs/calories for the morning. I have no clue why I’m so hungry but I decided I wasn’t going to try to make it to lunch so I had some cottage cheese and while I was putting it in a bowl I started singing haha.

Busy weekend up ahead. The Extraordinary Women’s Conference is coming to Charleston this weekend. Along with Mandisa! I have a small liking for her. She is so inspirational and the first season of American Idol that I watched was her season. Can’t wait to hear her song “He is With You”. Google the lyrics they are amazing! I think today is just a song kind of day because that just reminded me I woke up singing her song “Dance, Dance, Dance”. I’m a little nervous about this whole conference thing. I tried to get some friends to go with me but everyone kind of just ignored my asking so I decided I was going anyways. And since the tickets were a little pricy right before Christmas I did some research and found out if you volunteer to help with the event you get in free and can see most of the conference. I was pumped! I signed up, very uncharacteristic of me to go somewhere by myself with a bunch of strange people and volunteer to do something that I have no idea how to do. Should be interesting.

After the conference Saturday I’m going to do a little Christmas shopping at the mall and the hubby is suppose to meet me for dinner. Please, please, please, if you are praying person, pray that God will send a day shift job to my husband. I hate the different shift thing. And I really think it puts yet another strain on our relationship (as if infertility wasn’t enough). Hoping for a good time with him Saturday evening though and I might even try to talk him into taking me to see New Moon. Already counting on getting shot down on that idea haha

Sunday is church and between the morning and evening services I’m going to tag along with my mom to see my sister and niece (wub you tom tom, couldn’t resist).

So glad to have so much to do. I am truly a blessed, busy person! And while I have a lot on my mind about the upcoming appointments, Thanksgiving dinner arrangements, trying to find a good weekend to visit my grammy, and housework, I can’t help but realize in all of this that I have more than I could ever ask for and more than many in the world have! Remember the reason for the Thanksgiving season!

And since it's the hip thing to do,

four things

Because this is more fun than my work plans for the afternoon...

4 things i did 10 years ago - 1999

1. Went to 2 proms with my now husband. Our schools were consolidating so I went to his school's last prom and then mine and in 2000 went to the first one at the new school
2. Drove my white dodge Aries K car with pride! Even made up a song about the fact you had to get in on the passenger's side if you locked the driver side door to the tune of TLC No Scrubs haha
3. Started stock piling house things so that I could eventually move out of my mom and step dad's house
4. Worked at Drug Emporium in numerous positions because I was never happy with where I worked there.

4 things i did 5 years ago - 2004

1.Graduated college and started working for Massey
2.Bought Jingles my Jack Russell
3.Remodeled my kitchen and bathroom
4.Bought my Trailblazer which I miss the most!

4 things i did yesterday

1.opened up to one of my co-workers about past family drama and some of the current (emotionally draining to think about all of the craziness)
2. Went to church and enjoy this song "Beautiful Sunrise" loved it!
3. Saw the prettiest rainbow on my way to work right after the lyric of a new cd I was listening to said "If ever there was a time we need you Lord, it's now" How appropriate.
4. Caught up on 18 kids and counting on my DVR with the hubby while discussing the Thanksgiving menu with my mom

4 shows you like to watch
1. Grey's Anatomy
2. Biggest Loser
3. Deliver me
4. Ghost Hunters

4 things i love to do

1. Have random conversations with my husband about stupid stuff or ask him embarrassing questions about his childhood to see his response. Probably TMI but thought it was pretty funny, asked him if he ever had to hide "it" in school because "it" wouldn't go down lol He answered but I'm not sharing
2. Cook! I love to cook and I don't get to do it enough. I got my love of cooking from my Grammy and Mom who are both excellent!
3. Roadtrips. I love the music, the sing alongs, the serious and crazy conversations, making fun of other drivers, I love the whole bit
4. Love on my fur babies. I love coming home and they are lined up waiting on me to come in the door. My favorite is when I tell Journey I love her and she meows back :)

"And today you know that's good enough for me "

I am mentally tired and feel like I can’t do anything right as of late. My girl weekend could not come at a better time! Beware husbands and co workers, your ears will be burning! Haha. Work has been crazy busy and at times I find the stress is too much but I’m stuck and while the stress SUCKS! I do like the work I’m doing better just wish I had more time to do it. It’s also strange because I am a very routine person and like to have things in control and repetitive should be my middle name but I’m finding it hard to adjust to this whole monthly cycle thing at work. While I like the consistency of having an office I go to everyday, the fact that the same things need finished each month and by a certain date is a little overwhelming at times. And why do we have so many things to report to the state! Seriously! Ok I think I’m finished with my work vent…..for now

Nothing really new is going on. I found time to work on the church news letter and distributed it last Sunday and the response was good. I was nervous because I made some changes to the format and content but everyone was just glad to see it back out. My mind is busy with new ideas for columns and pictures etc. I like my mind to busy about things of God, keeps it from getting lazy for the devil.

Tomorrow I’m going to a new family doctor in the same office I usually go to for a blood pressure check up. I’m going to talk to him about switching my medicine to pregnancy friendly things since we are going in January to discuss our options. Maybe he can put me on a cheaper one while he’s at it. My dilemma is knowing whether to fast or not. Normally I do because they run blood work on all my normal metabolic things but my appointment is at 3:30 in the afternoon. I told my husband I was going to wake up early in the morning and eat a pb&j and hope it holds me over just so I won’t have to go back and get the blood work done but not sure that will cut it. And lets face it, I need my sleep!

Since I’ve been kind of negative in this post I will end it with things that are making me happy:

Jingles’ new Christmas dress
My niece saying “wub you tom tom”
Hillary Duff on my Ipod and Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack earlier
Christmas being just around the corner
A new white prelit tree for my blue formal Christmas tree and it was CHEAP!
A 4 day weekend in both November and December Woohoo!
Getting some things paid off!
Finding a pair of black flats that are comfy and not hideous
Going to visit my Richmond friend tomorrow

Doing Alright

It's funny how when things are going good, my blog gets quiet haha. We are still going strong on the low carb eating. I wanted to cry the other day. I wanted french fries so bad but they are sooooo high in carbs! Resisted but it put me in a bad mood for all of 5 minutes. The hubby's blood sugar is lowering. It was 241 when he went to the dr and now it's running anywhere from 130- 160. I'm hopeful that with diet and exercise we can keep it under control.

Funny story from my world. I have a dishwasher and when I put plastic in it, usually the plastic comes out with white looking stuff which ends up being holes from the heat of the washer. I packed a plastic bowl and can of soup for lunch and had one of said bowls with me. I warmed my soup up and ate almost all of it before I realize the white holes in my bowl were gone. Guess I had some dish soap with my soup today, yum.

Interesting conversation with the hubby this week. We, well I, was trying to see if it would be cheaper to switch our health benefits around this year with the pending fertility treatments not being covered on my insurance but being partly (and by partly I mean $1,200 max lifetime, um that's not even one round of treatments)covered. Hubby has better benefits but they are more expensive. It's cheaper to keep my benefits which cover very little than to switch to his which cover a ton more. Oh, so all of that to say this. I got really upset (go figure)when I realized we needed $2,200 just for prescriptions and deductibles for next year. We were working on seting up our Flex spending accounts and had already planned on taking out at least $3,000 for the treatments. Last time I did the treatments we spent $2,500. When I saw the expense of just our regular stuff I got very upset. Hubby looked over and was kind of shocked. He said, "Are you sure you want to go through with the treatments? I don't want to have to watch you go through the emotional stuff again like before" What do you say to that? Is anyone ever ready to spend lots of money and take a chance that the treatments won't work? Is anyone ever ready for the possibility of disapointment? No but isn't that what life is suppose to be about? Taking chances and not being afraid, well being afraid but doing it anyways haha.

This weekend's plans....getting my hair cut finally! It's so long, blah. Really want to do something different with the color but not sure what yet. After my hair appointment, going to see the Michael Jackson movie! Yes I'm excited to see it. I've heard a bunch of people raving about how good it is. We shall see!

Next week is my busy work week. While I probably won't have time to update, I will definitely be taking a peek at my dashboard during lunch.

They are everywhere!

I should be working but blogging sounds like so much more fun! I have resorted to blogging in a word document and pasting it in so that my internet time isn’t high (pretty sure they monitor it) and since I already spend a ton of time reading everyone’s blogs, might as well save where I can.

Just wanted to give you an update on how the low carb thing is going even though it’s only been a whole 2 days. The husband’s blood sugar is still high when he takes it after not eating for 4 hours. I’m hoping the body just takes some time to regulate all of this change. The first low carb day was hard on him, he didn’t eat carbs like I told him too and then took his sugar medicine and ended up getting sick, calling into work, and sleeping a ton. The next morning he woke me up for work and we chatted and I told him he had to eat carbs with his medicine. I take the same thing for my insulin resistance and if I don’t eat something with it you can bet I’ll feel like crap. So after my mild scolding for not eating enough carbs, he did better yesterday.

I went to the store Wednesday night after church and bought low carb snacks. Some of my finds….vienna wienies, pepperoni, cheese, fat free jello, nuts, cream cheese, cottage cheese (yay!), celery, lettuce, carrots, apples, ok so I found a ton. I spent yesterday evening bagging these things so it would be easy for lunch and snack packing. I think I took a bite of everything I packed in baggies haha. Anyways, my boss told me to try dipping celery in cream cheese and while I was leery, I am now a believer! Another thing I did was take some of his lunch type food such as pizza rolls, burritos etc and put them in carb friendly portions using bags. He opened up the freezer last night and found his surprise that he could have 12 pizza rolls for lunch as long as he had salad and other no carb things with it. He was like a kid in a candy store last night packing his lunch and was so proud of his final packed lunch he had to tell me all about it haha. One of the reason I love this man!

This weekend will be kind of busy (by choice of course). Tonight we are going to the judgement house. A local church puts on a “haunted trail” of sorts where they use the rooms in their church camp to play out scenes of real life situations that really make you think about your salvation and how quickly life can be taken. It’s always a fun time because you wait forever to go through it but they have music, bon fires, basketball, food, playsets, and just good conversations are had with my church family. I also love road trips especially if the church kids are involved because my husband and I both have special bonds with the kids and work really hard to keep those. That was one of the things that kept me going to church as a child, the bonds I had with my teachers. When I taught the teens we always had them over to the house for Christmas parties, movie nights, and sleepovers. We have a different group of teens now and not real sure we could pull that off now haha. Then Saturday we are going to try to finish the 3 x 4 foot section of floor we started on last weekend. Hoping to no big fights will come this weekend. And Sunday of course is church and I’m going to try to make a trip to Sams to pick up pepperoni, cheese, canned chicken, and pickles in bulk. This new way of life is going to prove to be interesting.

On the start pill front, I still hate them! Have woke up with a headache all week and feel like my “low gut”, as Aims calls it, is huge and my pants are nice and tight. Just what everyone wants to see. One more day of pills then a 2 day break and the fun will begin to flow (pun intended). Oh next week shall be fun!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Carbs Sucks!

Husband went back to the Dr yesterday to get the results of his blood work. Not the best, but not the worst. He had high blood sugar. He now has to test his sugar multiple times a day, take a pill, exercise, and watch his carb intake. First, let me tell you my husband is a carb eater and never really pays attention to his serving sizes. Second, he doesn’t like veggies unless they are covered in ranch dressing. Third, his uncle passed away in his 40’s from complications of diabetes and heart disease, both of which the husband has. I’ve been doing some research and talking with a diabetic ex co-worker and friend and found that a good range of carbs per meal is between 35-60 for a diabetic. Not too shabby. I’m picking 50 as my target until I go to the Dr at the end of the month and will start the hubs on that too and monitor his blood sugar levels to see if it needs adjusted. While I don’t have high blood sugar, I do have high insulin which I guess the Dr told my husband is basically the same. What better incentive do I need to carb watch than keeping my husband alive longer? So a new adventure of carb counting, exercising, and finger pricking awaits this couple. Guess this answers the question of whether to lap band it or not. Definitely not, the hubby needs all the support he can get and there’s nothing we can’t conquer together!

When it comes knocking....

Good Morning Start Pills, I hate you! And while I dread taking you, I know it’s for the best as I don’t want to have old cells causing cancer. With my PCOS I have non-existent cycles and I am suppose to do 7 days of Provera each month to clear out my system. Before I went to my RE (the baby magic dr) I could care less if I actually took the pills or not. I mean what woman wouldn’t love to never have a cycle and why in the world would you put yourself through the hormone swings and pain that go along with the Provera if you didn’t have to? I was informed that by my body not cycling each month it was building up the lining in my uterus and could cause unhealthy cells to form or worse cancer. And so I take my pills. Not like I should but I take them. I think the last time I took them was May so I’m a little off track but it’s better than never taking them. I always have this fear that I’ll take them and actually be pregnant one of these times (even though I take a pg test before each time) and that I will harm the baby. After 3 negative pg tests in the past 2 weeks, I believe it’s safe to take the pills. I figured what better morning to take them than today, I already feel like crap might as well add to it. Enough whining.

On to another topic, Lap Band surgery. Friday evening the hub and I were looking through his benefit package for medical coverage at work. Currently we are on my plan because its $100 cheaper a pay check but honestly they are covering less and less each year. My husband works for a hospital so they have decent benefits as long as you go to one of their facilities. We happened across the fact that Lap Band surgery is covered under his plan. I’ve done my research and found out that the surgery is $16,000, completely reversible, and safer than gastric. My dilemma is my conscious. One of my friends recently had this and is having pretty good success. I know I can lose the weight but I hate the yo-yo effect of my dieting. I feel the surgery wouldn’t give me the option to yo-yo but I feel it’s an easy way out for me. And if I had the surgery, I would have to put the fertility treatments off another year. But by losing the weight I might actually be able to get pg on my own. For now I’m not having the surgery but I would be lying if I said I’m not thinking about it. I have until Nov to decide whether to pickup his benefits or not.

This weekend was kind of sad for me and my church family, one of our deacons and a very vital part of our church passed away suddenly. This man was the first person in the church each service, the bell ringer, the door greater, the birthday caller, the trash taker outer, the light man, the door unlocker, the communion preparer, and the list could go on and on. Truly a lovely man! And while I’m sad because I won’t see him in any of his various positions any longer and sad that I know his family will miss him SO much, I can’t help but be happy for him. He always testified about the fact that he had his “ticket” to Heaven and was ready and it wasn’t anything that he did but what God did for him, but not only him, but for all man kind. What a testimony! Truly a saint has gone on. Tonight is his wake. I don’t deal well with death, I never know what to say and am usually crying harder than the family even if I wasn’t very close to the deceased. This man was very dear to my heart and my husbands and his daughter is one of my friends and definitely a daddy’s girl. I mean what words can I say to ease her pain, maybe none, just tell her I love her and hug her the hardest I can!